I'm Not Sure What to Call This Yet

(this is a first draft, and a part of my book that's dedicated to my daughter)




I write this as somebody who's made more than his fair shar of colossal mistakes.  I wouldn't claim to be perfect, and maybe for the first time in my life, I realize the full weight of those failures.  And really the ones that were the biggest were ones that came to women.  I'm being a huge hypocrite for writing this, and it would surprise me if I got hate mail after this, but here goes. 

I'm made a list of every woman I've come in contact with, some good, some bad, and...I'll just leave it at that. 

1. The southern belle who is feisty, yet classy
2. The southern belle who is worse than Scarlett O'Hara
3. The unbelieveable wonderful girl who gets cheated on when she's got everything going for her, and her boyfriend/husband was a complete jackass. 
4. The cute office manager girl who is losing her looks because she's stressed out at work all the time
5. The less attractive friend of the girl that the guys normally chase.
6. The fake out girl.  (I don't remember what this mean, but its on the list)
7. The girl who is always looking for some white knight, but is constantly disappointed
8. The stoner chick
9. The nerdy girl
10. The dirty blonde, who goes to lake, and listens to alternative rock
11. The pretty girl who know she's pretty
12. The conscending hot girl who feels she "has" to be nice
13. The hot girl is who is genuinely nice, but marries the lawyer, or the doctor, because she's supposed to be on the cover of a home, or gardening magazine.
14. The cute girl, who for some reason doesn't have a boyfriend
15. The single mom
16. The no-nonsense girl
17. The no-nonsense girl who is something like an egg, a hard shell that's easy to crack
18. The girl who tells dirty jokes
19. The stunningly beautiful woman isn't as unapproachable or unattainable as you might think
20. The seemingly all business girl who has a great sense of humor, and for some reason lets you flirt with her
21. The cougar
22. The older woman (this is different than a cougar, as a cougar seems to give the idea of a woman looking to devour a younger man
23. The psycho (I'd say more but some guys know what I'm talking about)

I think I've covered them all, or checked them out, or dated them, and the funny thing is I think I know what all you women are thinking.  I just don't know what to do with the information.  Of course that hasn't made stop trying to figure that out.  In my life I have an ex-girlfriend, an ex-fiancee, and an ex-wife.  I've made my share of mistakes, and I've seen better men than me try to find a lasting relationship with a woman, and so I announce to you what you should already know.  Men are scum.  We are sheep, vultures, and snakes.  We will take advantage of you, lie to you, shall I continue?

I wish I could say we had somebody to teach us how to be gentlemen and what not, but most of the people I look up to are dead.  Sadly, my generation has dropped the ball, and women are suffering for it.  I see it all the time.  For some reason women tell me things.  I really have no idea why... 
My point is I didn't really how big of a jackass I was until my marriage ended in divorce.  I looked at all of my mistakes, and then I looked at my role as a father. 

My marriage ended, but not before I was blessed to be the daddy of the world's cutest little girl.  I saw her and realized I wanted to be shield her from the some of the jerks in the world who were just like me.  I once saw a dude try to argue his way into a date with girl, like he was on the debate team.  I hear time and time again about the clowns who cheat on their women or worse, and then what comes from all of that.  And now I'm just kinda tired of hearing about it all.  It's like some people have to go out of their way to go looking for trouble, as though a little peace and quiet was a bad thing.

I've got a lot to answer for myself, and I'm hoping God will be kind and aid me in moving on and limit the damage I've done in my own life, and whatever else I'm not thinking of at the moment.  And if I'm able to end up in another relationship I'd expect that'd be nothing short of a miracle.  But that isn't really all the point of all this.  I started learning after my daughter was born, what sort of role model i wanted to be, and what sort of guy I wanted to protect her from.  Namely, dudes like me.. 

I know I've probably seen it in a movie, or read it somewhere, but you really do everything you can to look out for your kid, pretty much as soon as you see the heartbeat for the first time.  I realize she'll make her own decisions, but I'm gonna do all I can to help her make good decisions.